Daughter refuses to sell the house she inherited from her father to pay for mom's failed business debt, mom ignores her and puts the house up for sale anyway: ‘This is the only option’

Author image for Bar Mor Hazut
Bar Mor Hazut • Senior Editor
Jan 13, 2026 4:00 PM EST

All parents have goals for their children, a list of achievements they want for their kids as they grow older and become independent adults.

My parents, for example, cannot shut up about how much they want me to buy a property. Having a place of my own is the only thing that would help them live the rest of their lives in peace, and every time I see them, they have a different plan for how we are going to make it happen. Knowing that no matter what happens in the future, I will always have a home to return to is the most important "achievement" I can give them.

Which is why I know my parents' hearts would break if they read the story below.

This 22-year-old daughter's father passed when she was 13. He left Mom some savings and willed the house to his daughter, and that was supposed to help them get by. However, Mom burned through the savings quite quickly, using them to pay for her failing business, which left the teen daughter without much as she was growing up. The daughter spent years trying to convince her mom to close the business, but to no avail. All of which made Mom's most recent life decisions anger the daughter even more.

Dad left his daughter his house, probably for the same reasons my parents work so hard to help me buy a property–he wanted to leave the world knowing that his daughter always has a home. Mom, on the other hand, doesn't seem to have the same concerns. She is currently worried about how she is going to pay the debt she has accumulated trying to keep her business going. 

The only solution Mom could find was to sell her (now fully-grown, 22 years old) daughter's house.

The key element to remember here is that this house isn't Mom's to sell, and the daughter plans to hold on to this property for as long as she can. But when she told her mom she didn't want to sell the house, even if it meant paying the debt, her mom decided to ignore her completely. Now, mom is hosting a house showing to a property that is not legally hers, and the daughter is looking for advice on how to handle the situation and stop her mom's reckless and entitled actions…

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    Cheezburger Image 10596098304
    via ninjaDesign

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

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    AITAH if i refused to sell the house to pay my mom’s debts?

    Well, this is my first post and English isn't my first language, so pardon any misspelling and mistakes.
    via IcemintHoon
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    So I (22f) don't live in the US or any big big country at all, and because of that having a high paying job is kinda difficult to have.
    via IcemintHoon
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    With that aside let me tell you what happened. When i was 13 my dad di d from C er and some months before that my mom (55f) quit from her job so she could take care of him and be there for his appointments, i wasn't really on the loop of what was happening really
    via IcemintHoon
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    Obviously that failed and some time later my dad passed away. As i mentioned, my mom was jobless at that time as well, but we could get through for sometime because of my dad's savings.
    via IcemintHoon
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    And my mom had the \\\amazing\\\ idea to use that to invest in a restaurant. Long story short, it didn't but it was somewhat still existing at the time i graduated from high school and also when i started college.
    via IcemintHoon
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    But every little penny that came from there went to the workers, like gatherings or birthdays of the workers which were planned by my mom.
    via IcemintHoon
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    And, hell, i wasn't mad about that at all, i just felt somewhat pushed away but didn't really said anything about it.
    via IcemintHoon
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    So when i turned 17 i got told that i had to work to pay for my college and out house bills (water, electricity, internet and food) and she would still help with my phone bill and if there was a reserve after she paid all the restaurant's expenses she would use that money to help me pay my classes.
    via IcemintHoon
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    I agreed and started working ever since then. Which never really was a high paying job, but it helped with the overall bills and expenses.
    via IcemintHoon
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    Also have in mind that she was using tons of credit cards and taking loans to pay for her business, and even when some of her employees quit i was also covering some shifts that didn't collide with my other job.
    via IcemintHoon
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    But i was telling her to close that thing. She had been robbed several times, her former employees stole from her, and she was getting more and mire debts, and she never listened with the hope that sometime it would get better.
    via IcemintHoon
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    She also was able to get money from an aunt, her sister (lets call her J), that went to the bank herself to get a loan and give it to my mom with the promise to pay it in a timely manner.
    via IcemintHoon
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    If I'm not wrong the amount would be approximately like 5000 US dollars. Fast forward to July of last year, i was able to finally convince her to close the business (and it wasnt really something that i said directly because she never listened to me, so i made that J talk to her out of it).
    via IcemintHoon
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    And she got even worse. Everything she owes right now makes a sum of over 37 thousand dollars.
    via IcemintHoon
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    So here comes my dilemma. From where she grew up, it was expected for the kids to be responsible for their parents debts.
    via IcemintHoon
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    Which i wouldn't be really against if the amount wasnt so high or if she even acknowledged what i said before.
    via IcemintHoon
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    And i know that it can be labelled as petty or so. Right now my boyfriend (24m) is living with us in the house that my dad left me and he helps with the expenses around here, which is a big relief and he does it because he wants to.
    via IcemintHoon
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    (I didnt want to accept at the start because well, this whole mess isnt really something he should be responsible for).
    via IcemintHoon
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    And also now i have 3 cats that I happened to rescue with him at different times of the year which i live dearly.
    via IcemintHoon
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    This house is all I really have and i don't really have to worry about being kicked out.
    via IcemintHoon
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    About 4\\\~5 months ago my mom has been saying that she wants to sell the house to pay part of her debts and for us to find another place to live.
    via IcemintHoon
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    Red "For sale, open house" sign on a glass door
    via Pablo Merchán Montes

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

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    But finding a place to rent big enough or that even accept cats is almost impossible.
    via IcemintHoon
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    She says that this is the only option she can think of and that's easier to do so than being called every day by the bank or my aunt for what she owes.
    via IcemintHoon
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    And asking me how would i feel jf she ended up being locked up because of that, if she truly lost everything because I didn't want to help her.
    via IcemintHoon
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    The house is at my name at the moment because of the fear of having a bank taking it away.
    via IcemintHoon
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    And after so much thought i told her we couldnt lose this as everything else my dad left for us is already sold for her to use that on her failed business.
    via IcemintHoon
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    She, again, paid no mind to what i said and brought someone this weekend to see the house.
    via IcemintHoon
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    And that resulted in a fight between my boyfriend and her. And now I'm back to square one.
    via IcemintHoon
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    She is still wanting to sell the house and I'm refusing to do so. So AITAH for refusing to sell the house to pay her debts so i can still live in here with my cats?
    via IcemintHoon
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    My_Dramatic_Persona INFO You said that the house was left to you, but also that the house is in your name so the bank can't get it going after her debts. Was the house actually willed to you? Was it left to the both of you? What are the exact circumstances that left it in your name only? It's hard to judge her treating the house as her property to dispose of to settle her debts without knowing that. There's also a question of whether you'd actually be able to stop a bank from taking it, dependin
    via My_Dramatic_Persona
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    IcemintHoon Original Poster's Reply Yes, the house was willed to me, thing is that I was a minor at the time and was told by her that she would do the process when i turned 18 (which didnt happen until i did the process myself) and the only condition established was to let her leave in it. Also when i was putting the deed in my name legally, i researched and the bank cant take anything from it because the bills and the house isnt in her name.
    via IcemintHoon
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    CocoaAlmondsRock Your momhas NO PLAN. She could easilt work another 10 years, but that isn't even a consideration. She wants to live off everyone else, and she wants everyone else to cover her debts. Your mom is entitled. No, you should NOT sell the house your dad left you. It's an amazing start in life something you aren't likely to get again for a long time. -- I know what you said about the culture in your country, but your mom is irresponsible. You are not responsible for her poor choices. S
    via CocoaAlmondsRock
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    IcemintHoon Original Poster's Reply I will let them know about it, but i have to get their contact information from her, or either sneak my way out from her phone to do so
    via IcemintHoon
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    Reasonable_Push9786 If you sell the house, what will you do once she blows through all that money? You will be in an even worse position. The house is in your name, so even if she is ignoring you and showing people through, you are the one that would need to sign the sale documents. You need to protect yourself and you are also protecting her from herself.
    via Reasonable_Push9786
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    IcemintHoon Original Poster's Reply Thanks for the comment, i somewhat knew this but i didnt really want to accept it, she is my mom after all and i was hoping it wasnt the case. But im not going to let her ruin me and my future as well
    via IcemintHoon
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    docileboy Does your country have some sort of debt relief process like bankruptcy? This situation is tailor made for bankruptcy. The debt to your aunt is likely unsecured, unlike the debt to the banks, but would be easier for your mom to pay back if she got out from under the debt to the bank.
    via docileboy
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    IcemintHoon Original Poster's Reply That's the funny thing, i have always said to her to file for bankruptcy at the same time to close her business, but she dismissed it. But when my boyfriend and mom fought a couple days ago the topic resurfaced, after saying more than 10 times that i wouldnt sell the house and she agreed on it, but i will have to contact a lawyer myself for it to be done
    via IcemintHoon
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    Successful_Dot2813 Stand up for yourself. You've let your mother bully you all your life. What if you sell the house, and she's still not satisfied? What if she runs up more debts, trying another venture? How are you ever going to have a life if your own? What happens if you have children- who will you put first? There's a reason your father left the house to YOU, rather than his wife! Your mother should get a job. And you need to get a backbone, before she destroys your life. NTA
    via Successful_Dot2813
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    IcemintHoon Original Poster's Reply I needed to hear that, subconsciously i knew that this isn't right, but because of how she had fed my head all of this years i didnt listen to it, so doing this post was a major step for me, as i dont tend to open myself to others, but it made it easier as i dont know anyone here personally. So yet again thank you for your knowledge
    via IcemintHoon
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    Toni 164 NTA And if you do sell the house, she'll fully expect to move with you somewhere else
    via Toni164
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    IcemintHoon Original Poster's Reply She does expect that, and i guess to make me agree as well is saying that she will look for a place personally where we can have my cats at, also with my boyfriend tagging along (neither of us. agreed to that, but i almost said yes because of how vulnerable she made me feel at the time)
    via IcemintHoon

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family drama inheritance house mother failed business family daughter business women house showing parents children Father selling
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